# 5

Murphy's Laws of Motherhood # 5:
Some of the Various Cries of a Tiny Infant:
1. I'm tired and cranky and I don't want to go to sleep.
2. I'm tired and cranky and I refuse to go to sleep.
3. I'm tired and cranky and falling asleep but this is my last hoorah.
4. I'm hungry.
5. I'm now starving and screaming because you're not moving fast enough getting
my bottle ready.
6. I'm awake now and need entertaining.
7. I'm a baby and I want to.
8. I have a SERIOUS code brown emergency in my diaper.

#4

Murphy's Laws of Motherhood #4: Despite the occasional desire to place your head into the toilet and flush it, moments like these make motherhood all worthwhile.

#3

Murphy's Laws of Motherhood #3: Taking tiny child on an outing involves an inordinate amount of planning to avoid (as if it were possible) explosive poop incidents, hunger, crankiness, spit-up on nice going about town outfit, etc ... feel planning is akin to what must be involved in shuttle orbiting earth ...

#2

Murphy's Laws of Motherhood #2: If your beautiful new baby has wild hair it will be wild no matter what you do.

#1

Murphy's Laws of Motherhood #1: If you are burping a very small infant and you are wearing an enormous burp cloth covering most of your upper body, but tiny infant decides she needs to spit up a bit, the spit up will miss the gigantic burp cloth and land between your new voluptuous post-pregnancy cleavage.

The Best Laid Plans

(am currently devising Murphy's Laws of Motherhood to be printed later) ... as Annie isn't quite old enough to get out and about yet but can still take little rides in the car, decided yesterday would be lovely day for short ride to Taco Bell for yummy Nachos Supreme ... very much a fussy (and poopy) day for Annie so was looking forward to being in car for short while ... loaded sweet Annie and set off ... all well until seismic poop explosion from backseat ... since was close to home headed back to change enormous poop diaper, certain that Annie would be in better mood and ride to Taco Bell would be calm and quiet ... not to be ... trip involved Annie's constant hollering, purchasing of said nachos and chance to eat nachos (by then cold) around two hours later after Annie calmed down and fell asleep ... oh, happy day.